Do I Really Have Six Senses?

 

I told myself not to believe it. It can't be true. This is not real. But as at today (9.35PM Malaysia time, December 8, 2005) it has again proven to be real.

 

I was young and kind of a freak. I know what will happen to my personal life next and it does kind of ensued. I know I will achieve my career plan at a reasonably young age and I did. I also know that I'll give it up very soon. Is happening now. May take some time to enliven.

 

I know I'll into short terms charity work and I did. I will pass my exams well and I did. I know when my friends told me that he has applied for so many jobs and always get rejected and I told him that one particular one will come true and it is that one that he got.

 

I have great feeling that I'm crazy in lots of things and its true that it happen. I told myself that I'll pass the astronaut selection but my six sense told me no. And NO is the answer. Before the Fear Factor, I know that I'll be number 2. And it is true that I end up number 2. This can't be real. This is crazy.

 

No, No. I'm not sad or depressed over the loss in FF and Astronaut. Few weeks ago my best "friend" told me something about a job in Hong Kong and suddenly, my crazy six senses took charge again. I knew it that time that he will get this offer with a very lucrative pay. YES. It happened. He is offered and I am also sure that he will move to Hong Kong by mid January. Let see if this also happen?

 

I have been denying my six sense but it keep coming back with actual and true result and proven "himself" to be really real. I have this feeling that I will live and die alone at a very old age. This feeling is not something that I made up but the feeling that somehow comes from my six sense. I do pray that this last feeling is not true. PLEASE. I don't want to live the luxury life that I will be creating by myself alone. I want to share it. Share it with someone truly special to me.

 

I can't sleep tonight. I am sad. Sad not because of FF and Astronaut! It is something else in total. Only one person that I spoke to just now know that only reason. Sad that I know and my six sense also telling me that something more challenging is on its way. I need to really open up my heart and accept the reality. A reality that may hurt very much if I failed to open up my thought within this month or next the latest.

 

Oh… I'm feeling dizzy. Headache is hitting badly, but I can't sleep. The anxiety is too strong tonight. I have been writing this blog with my mind running up and down, left and right and it keeps running. This article is much unorganized.

 

The feeling I have now is an extremely strong mixture of happy and sad. A very jovial and almost depress at the same time. I need to get out of this real soon.

 

Readers, I know I'm confusing you with this writing, I wish I can share the total story with you. Somehow, there is some thing here that I need to keep it as my secret and I need to keep it for myself otherwise it is not call secret. I'm sorry for this. I will end my writing now. I'll feed you more information later.

 

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